The last few days I have been extremely hormonal.  I haven’t just been borderline bitchy- I’ve been doing a rain dance all along the territory lines of Bitch Land.  I am just better left alone and really all I want is solitude.  I had been feeling cramps on and off last week, and all weekend long my lower back hurt.  Monday morning came around and I laid in bed on my back with with a fullness in my lower abdomen.  I took a deep breath already sensing what was happening, got out of bed and went to the bathroom.  After relieving my bladder, I still felt the heavy pressure in my lower abdomen but I was too afraid to look into the toilet.   *TMI ALERT*

After taking some long breaths to prepare myself, I peaked down into the toilet.  Eight long weeks and three days after finding out about my ectopic pregnancy and having to receive a shot of methotrexate to dissolve it, my period had finally came.  And although this means new beginnings, the true start of the healing process, and eventually in a few more cycles being able to try for another baby – in that moment as I sat on the toilet, all I could do is cry and mourn the loss of my pregnancy/baby all over again.

Thankfully I haven’t had any clotting, in fact, it’s actually been on the light side.  I’m planning to go to the doctor this week so I can have my levels checked and see what the next step from here will be.  Through the sadness, I’m grateful that this is over.  I really want to move on.

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